matt costa

the song "oh dear" by matt costa has forever been ruined for me. my mom was in the car with me while my ipod was on shuffle. that song came on and after a little while my mom made a comment somewhat to the effect of "this sounds like it should be a sitcom theme song". and you know what? shes right.

you dont have to read this, really. i dont blame you.

what am i doing? i dont mean right now. answering that question is easy. it has obvious answers; im sitting in starbucks, drinking a toffee nut latte, listening to arcade fire and wishing someone would throw me a bone on myspace or aim.
what i mean is....what am i doing in life? okay, that would seem to have some fairly obvious answers as well. im working at the church, living at home, learning what it is to save money, not going to school, and lusting after a photography career...or something.
no, what i mean is what am i doing that is worth while. or furthering His kingdom. or keeping my attention span. or what i like. or what i love. or what i want.
all these stupid questions just keep scrolling through my head like damn movie credits. i dont even know......anything anymore.
i love working at the church. being involved in youth ministry has dramatically changed my life. but, honestly...where am i going in that? i mean job wise. i have no aspiration to become a youth pastor. (im no teacher...lol) so, am i going to be the youth assistant my whole life? dont get me wrong, i really do love it. but...a youth assistant? like from now on? ya, not to keen on that.
*sigh*
then there is this whole photography thing. i really like watching and learning from people. and.....thats about it. oh, trust me. i want to get in there, badly. but, thats kinda tough when your limited to an olympus point and shoot. lol ive been sitting on this for awhile now. im 99% sure this isnt just another one of my "dabbling" experiences. i have really held off on buying a camera because im done with starting something then losing interest.
thats my problem you know, i just lose interest.
sorry if your still reading this. although im pretty sure there is only one person who glances at this thing anyways.
so in conclusion:

1) im having a mid-life or quater-life crisis or sorts. (oooo! just like in that john mayer song...quater-life crisis)

2)i am shopping for my nikon D80 today. credit debt, HERE I COME!!

3) toffee nut lattes are my favorite lately

4) im sick of not having a boyfriend, or a date, or a crush, or....something.

5) is it possible to live at starbucks? i would like that very much.

6) boys dont like me. well, once i start talking. or when i dont talk. (total jr.high around cute boys....get all giggly and shy.)

7)i dont know what color to do my bangs next

8) really. i would live right here on this couch thingy at starbucks.

THE END.

(and im sooooooo not going to go back through this and fix typos, grammer or sentence structure. deal with it. sucka!)

May 19th Flyer

Here is another one I made. When I find out who the opening guys are they will fit right under the "$15".
p.s. photoshop cs2 is AMAZING. way more fun than elements. =)

Ever have those days...

where its just....bleh. I feel so starved for attention. But not from any of my friends. Just someone new. I think. I don't know.
Okay. Im lonely and none of the people im surrounded with can fix it. Make sense?
No? Ya, doesnt to me either.

I have a flickr now =)

click the picture below to see some more!
=))))

my brain hurts.

canon or nikon?








i was so sure canon. yesterday, a canon rebel xti was it. now...nikon is just looking so classy.
errrg, it looks like im off to do another seven and a half more hours of research.

tired of....stuff.

bleh.
ugh....i cant even type everything out. long day. bad day. here is a list:

1.my aunt marie is in the hospital and it isnt looking good. she most likely isnt going to make it. my mom isnt taking it too well. please pray. please.
2.work stuff just got really stressful on the LA trip front.
3.im so not prepared for the show this sat.
4.somone put a dead fricken rattle snake in my car as a joke. ya haha. smells nice now. and im paranoid as hell that there is another one in there.

just......aejIjgrjipgraepirgjyap

ms. ashley hays

Brought to you by the generosity of Mandi =)
(she let me play around with her canon rebel xti !!!!!!!!!)

Written in 1978

"Superficiality is the curse of our age. The doctrine of instant satisfaction is a primary spiritual problem. The desperate need today in not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people."
Richard J. Foster, Celebration of Discipline