you dont have to read this, really. i dont blame you.

what am i doing? i dont mean right now. answering that question is easy. it has obvious answers; im sitting in starbucks, drinking a toffee nut latte, listening to arcade fire and wishing someone would throw me a bone on myspace or aim.
what i mean is....what am i doing in life? okay, that would seem to have some fairly obvious answers as well. im working at the church, living at home, learning what it is to save money, not going to school, and lusting after a photography career...or something.
no, what i mean is what am i doing that is worth while. or furthering His kingdom. or keeping my attention span. or what i like. or what i love. or what i want.
all these stupid questions just keep scrolling through my head like damn movie credits. i dont even know......anything anymore.
i love working at the church. being involved in youth ministry has dramatically changed my life. but, honestly...where am i going in that? i mean job wise. i have no aspiration to become a youth pastor. (im no teacher...lol) so, am i going to be the youth assistant my whole life? dont get me wrong, i really do love it. but...a youth assistant? like from now on? ya, not to keen on that.
*sigh*
then there is this whole photography thing. i really like watching and learning from people. and.....thats about it. oh, trust me. i want to get in there, badly. but, thats kinda tough when your limited to an olympus point and shoot. lol ive been sitting on this for awhile now. im 99% sure this isnt just another one of my "dabbling" experiences. i have really held off on buying a camera because im done with starting something then losing interest.
thats my problem you know, i just lose interest.
sorry if your still reading this. although im pretty sure there is only one person who glances at this thing anyways.
so in conclusion:

1) im having a mid-life or quater-life crisis or sorts. (oooo! just like in that john mayer song...quater-life crisis)

2)i am shopping for my nikon D80 today. credit debt, HERE I COME!!

3) toffee nut lattes are my favorite lately

4) im sick of not having a boyfriend, or a date, or a crush, or....something.

5) is it possible to live at starbucks? i would like that very much.

6) boys dont like me. well, once i start talking. or when i dont talk. (total jr.high around cute boys....get all giggly and shy.)

7)i dont know what color to do my bangs next

8) really. i would live right here on this couch thingy at starbucks.

THE END.

(and im sooooooo not going to go back through this and fix typos, grammer or sentence structure. deal with it. sucka!)